Reassessing in the Middle

When we are small, we don't know yet that the relationships we see in our adult overlords...are something we can have one day. Think about it.

It was not a clear concept to me that I would grow up to be one of those adults. In fact, as odd as it may seem, I didn't realize until I was about 15 years old that that's where I was headed and that I might have some input on what that adulty phase would look like. In my ignorance, there was just this idea that adulting and life would just happen to me. 

Expectations are interesting things. Sometimes we don't have them until it's too late to reasonably ask that they be met. Many decisions would have been differently, if I knew that having my own expectation was ok. Yes, I certainly had it in my mind that I would make a home, raise the children, manage the house, handle the social affairs, cook, clean, organize...you know....but, I didn't think that I'd have to go get a job after the kids went to school, grew up, or were ready to move out? 

Now that I'm on the edge of that reality, I know that my being a gorram 50's wife of wonder all these years had me thinking I would get to relax a little now. Since you know, menopause and shit. Then after I conquer that monster, I'll be grandma-ing, and you know maybe plant a garden, finish some of my music and paint...as well as still doing like most of that other home stuff until the day I die. 

What I didn't expect was that I would have to go back to a traditional workplace and earn an income...at this time in my life. Yet, here we are, looking at the finances and realizing that we are not set up for chillin' out when 2040 hits. 

I do not want to go to a workplace. I suppose though, it's just something that was not a clear concept and is now becoming the reality that I'm living in. So, here's to finding the right fit and saving for the future.

cheers.