Sunfish | Baptism | Stepdads |1982

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 When I say "Baptism" what come to mind?

Do you see fancy baby ceremonies at mass, or a blow up hottub in a gymnasium?

Are you picturing a well lit baptismal on a stage or a swimming pool in Deacon Jims backyard?

How about a small lake in upstate Minnesota for our setting. Yes. That's where we'll go. 

I don't have perfectly detailed memories of the Sunday that I prayed the prayer of Salvation in Sunday school, but I have a distinct memory about how that day felt. I heard the stories of Jesus, understood that we were all sinners, recognized that he'd died for my sins and wanted to thank Him for that gift everyday with the rest of my life. 

I was 7 years old. I remember feeling joy, telling my grandmother and her being very excited about it. I don't remember telling anyone else and I believe my grandmother told my mom and stepfather. 

I'm not certain how long after that Sunday the Baptisms happened, or even if they happened that very day. I don't remember how I got there, or that I wanted to be there, but somehow I ended up at a lake and everyone was getting baptized. My stepfather was also getting baptized that day. I can't recall if my grandmother was there, I don't even remember my mother being there, though I'm sure she was...because my stepfather was there. I do remember being nervous because I don't believe I'd brought any dry undergarments to change into, and it was cold. 

I don't remember if the sun was shining or behind clouds.
I remember that there were trees all along the bank and the ground was uneven.
The air was cold and I wore my clothes and shoes into the river.
My stepfather was there, but it didn't feel like we were there together.
There is only one thing that stands out with perfect clarity; there were sunfish in the water and one tried to bite my fingers. I had to lift my hands out of the water and hold them up.
It was so cold.
I don't remember the baptism part, I do remember getting out of the water and not being able to get warm.
My best friend was there because her father was the pastor.
The sunfish.
It is the only perfectly certain thing about that day.

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