Leading Worship / The Struggle

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Worship Leading was suppose to be this grand spiritual journey, full of hours long songs and prayers that never end. I imagined breathing in the holy commission of song writing and exhaling incredible expressions of love for my Glorious God. The experience has been much more about coordinating schedules, retraining bad behaviors, gently correcting...everything...all the time, and basically trying to keep my sanity while also delicately letting go of self and allowing God to do His work in me.

That may seem like a recipe for destruction or a really great explanation for why I would leave this crazy position and spend the rest of my days avoiding church leadership. Instead, I can count it all as joy. I heard an amazing sermon today about "the cost" of ministry. Chip Ingram spoke about some frustrations in ministry and about the conversation he and his wife had after church one day. In the wisdom God gave her, she said, "What if the frustration is simply the cost? Jesus had a cost, Paul had a cost, Stephen had a cost...what if this is just the cost?"
The question alone snapped him, and me...into the right attitude in an instant. Oh..I thought, then I can take it.

I can take the irritating rehearsals that end up being more tech fixing sessions than music. I can take the conflict of opinion about rock vs. alternative sound for electric guitars. I can take the last minute cancellations, the late comers to practice, the no shows, the lack of preparation, the moody vocalist, the tough congregation, the lyric mishaps, the whatever comes my way. Because it's just the cost. He has a bigger and better plan, He's in control, He goes before me, His ways are higher than mine, and HE will be praised.

How could I look at all of this and ever think I am "struggling" in this opportunity? I am so blessed. I am so, so blessed.

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